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If you like to set your own goals, get excited about achieving results, and know you are worth the time, money and effort to create the life you want, we can help. We see ourselves as part of a team, working together on a common mandate, which you will set at the beginning but may revise as we go along. We see ourselves as equals on the team and will always value your opinions and request that you will value ours (even if you do not always agree with it).
This is your First Step
in the Right Direction!
... it's never too late
to turn your life around
... it's never too early to begin |
1) Active Participation
The most important principle is that of Active Participation, which always brings faster and more complete results than passive reliance on experts to solve problems. Even for people with an illness as severe as cancer, studies have shown that those who are actively involved in their treatment live longer and suffer less pain. There are four ways that our clients participate actively in their own work.
2) Setting Goals - Dare to Dream
Even if you have doubts that you can ever achieve what you want, establish a clear picture of that goal in your mind. This gives power to your mind and body to move you in the right direction and to draw toward you the people, experiences, and information that you will need to get there.
For example: What would you like to see happening instead of this problem?
What exactly would that look like?
3)Willingness to Try New Ways
New ways of looking at things, new ways
of thinking and new behaviour... a sort of personal experimentation to see what is true and what is not true, what works and what does not work. This takes a little faith since there is always a period of discomfort and confusion before each new insight reveals itself. It helps to hold each piece of conflicting or seemingly new information lightly, not throwing it away, but not embracing it fully either. In time, if it is correct, there will be many other pieces of corroborating evidence. If it is not correct, it will just fall away. Just one little hint - if your therapist says something that makes you feel hurt, angry or even outraged, there might be a grain of truth there. Don't run away. Do bring your feelings to your next session.
It is important not to waste your time and energy fighting with ideas or information that seems not to fit with the way you have always seen things. Trust the process and it will work easily for you, as long as you continue to do your part. It helps if you can see yourself and your therapist as detectives, working as a closely co-operative team on the case of your life. Be patient. Your own truth will emerge. It will not be exactly the way your therapist envisioned it, and it will not be exactly the way you yourself envisioned it. It will simply be your own Truth, unmistakable and undeniable, which gradually emerges out of the feelings and thoughts that both of you are able to risk sharing. Yes, there is a risk for the therapist too. Nobody likes to get others angry at them.
| Many books have been written over the last century about the power of positive thinking and creative visualization. The principles are well tested. They do work. |
4) Willingness to read Relevant Books and Articles
Individuals support and enrich their work by making use of books that you can usually get from the library or second-hand from Amazon.. As we get to know you better, we can recommend items that will be especially relevant to your particular case. The better you understand what is going on in your life, what others have discovered about that problem and how others have handled it, the better equipped you are to make intelligent decisions for yourself.
| Results are exciting, and the initial effort by both client and therapist is rewarded in quicker and more complete achievement of goals. Essentially, the writing, along with suggested reading, can double or even triple the effectiveness of the hourly sessions or the weekly group sessions. It is a tried and true method that our clients have enjoyed for years. It is one of the reasons that we see members of extended families, as well as friends, years after the referring client has left us. |
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Problems we deal with
We address such problems as: stress; anxiety; phobias; anger; obsessive compulsive disorders; depression; grief; loss; shyness; low self esteem; eating disorders; stress related physical illnesses; and/or chronic pain; sexual problems; dependencies or addictions to food, substances or love partners; problems related to separation, divorce, or affairs; bullying at school or in the work place; conflicts with family, neighbours, friends, co-workers, employees or employers, irrational feelings of worthlessness, shame, guilt, inferiority.
Private counselling is also helpful for persons who want to resolve inner conflicts, solve problems, repair old childhood wounds or deprivations, reach more of their own potential, or achieve more satisfaction and happiness in their lives. Adult children of alcoholic, abusive or dysfunctional families often seek counselling in order to heal their lives.
Writing
Our services include an option of writing, in addition to regular sessions. This is a unique service which we developed over many years and it has been so successful that we have never considered discontinuing it. This is the fourth method that clients use to direct their own work and perhaps the most important one. It is team writing, i.e. you write and we write, with a common goal.
Writing is time consuming in the beginning for both client and therapist and takes a good deal of commitment on both sides, but commitment is a very important ingredient in achieving success. All written work is read and returned at the next meeting with encouragement, support, feedback, suggestions, and questions to help you to sort out confusing experiences and feelings. Many of our clients choose to write their life story and the story of each major relationship. This enables them to stand back and look at their background, life events, values, goals and feelings in the larger context of their whole life. It inevitably leads to more clarity about present issues and more compassion and respect for yourself. It is rewarding to see just how strong we are to have overcome the number of obstacles and hardships most of us have come through.
Testimonial:
"If you met me five years ago you would have seen a seemingly confident, successful, happy person. You wouldn't have known that inside I was crushed, insecure and in an abusive relationship. "
Click here to read this testimonial |
Many people begin to find meaning and dignity in their own suffering and come to greater compassion for their parents, who also were victims of victims, and for the whole world of human suffering. A kinder and gentler approach to life is the result; easier on you and on everyone around you.
Our comments will help you to understand yourself and those you are in a relationship with. We help you to make connections between events, behaviours, beliefs, and attitudes. We point out family patterns which extend into present relationships and help you to see what keeps those patterns operating. We make observations about how disturbing events in your life may be related to old feelings of hurt from childhood, and we help you to learn new ways to handle those feelings in order to get more favourable results today.
| Psychotherapy can also be very rewarding for parent/child or sibling relationships where there is a need for forgiveness and healing. |
When you are writing, many times your hand will tell you things that you weren't aware that you knew. A homework that starts out as a search may end up with the answer. When people get in the habit of writing, it often becomes a tool for self discovery that stays with them long after they leave us. |
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